Xiong Ling: I am in contact with the treatment in the case, I found that say it, but is another way, and even if he wanted the opposite, it caused a lot of communication barriers and misunderstandings. I think, as a consultant, often need to discuss with them, psychological mechanisms, to help them express themselves accurately. to the teacher, how did you see?
the way: Yes, the word problem is a common problem of human existence. reverse the expression with ;, with facing the more common mental confusion, it seems that no one can be totally avoided. Even psychologists, counselors, or is accustomed to Among such embarrassment.
in my own case, you know, I recently just to enjoy the embarrassment of a people's hh
brain gray bear Ling: Really? No wonder these days that some deep you look to the teacher (laugh). is not a day between you and your wife's phone? you have been self-analysis you?
the way: Yes, but not very clear. On Wednesday the day, I returned to the inside from the outside, because the outside is very hot, the body Rehan intolerable, feeling very uncomfortable, very hard to accept. I desperately looking for a T-shirt on, but, usually used on the consultation did not find a change of clothes. I immediately realized that his wife may be the last weekend clothes home. So, I ran to the phone to his wife, with the blame tone, said: not a dirty clothes to wear to the Saturday? you do not trouble trouble!. also asked you to take home to wash, okay? you all get back. hh I get it back to wash your clothes clean, dry, folded into the cabinet, you forgot to go, but red I am angry, which is like a psychologist! I think you need counseling! I tell you, your future, I do not care! Ling: What did you feel? I mean your wife call in and after the hh.
to the process: a little frustration, helplessness and embarrassment that some, like is their own language also feel strange, feel that their expression must be something wrong. because I rarely use such a tone to his wife speak, few blame her. I even think of tolerance has been my greatest strengths.
Bear Ling: We can imagine that, you find clothes did not find, of course, also not a dress for you, therefore, is a natural feel uncomfortable. this time, what you want by phone? hh you can re-conceive of a wife mm, then a paragraph to your satisfaction, you want to see what his wife said.
to the process: It should be said, mm, if the wife said: asked you, you said yes. hh or you up to a shower, drink water l Huoxiangzhengqi r? or I try to send you clothes? or you just buy yourself go Besides a deal to deal? do not expect her to really bring me clothes to the.
XIONG Ling: From your idea out of this passage, I guess, you and your wife on the phone's unconscious motives, in fact, want access to care and comfort, but also maternal-like care to explain the calm mm (not arbitrarily take away); up to you to find ways to (showers, buy a); afraid you are sick, your health care (tell you to take medicine), which help you to overcome difficulties measures, no not the Mrs. talking! Can it be defined: You're not really trying to say is a false expression, at least not the feeling of your heart; you what their own hearts had a ; make-up Cheng: Yes, I basically agree with this.
Xiong Ling: You know, on your performance that day, several of us have been discussed in private, I hope you do not mind. I want to know whether you are clear in you spirit blame and blame.
XIONG Ling: This is a good explanation! However, this ; blame orientation. I think maybe there is another explanation.
my reasoning is this: Since you gave his wife to call, that was a very uncomfortable feeling, you may feel a kind of intense frustration, helplessness. in accordance with the the general laws of psychological reactions, and a man helpless and depressed, always unconsciously thought of his mother, or projecting a met. but I did not find enough reason to let you frustrated and helpless.
I do not believe that just because a problem changing clothes let your hard feelings, but also help you generate less likely to experience depression. I think This is just a mood induction event, there may be deeper psychological reasons and psychological event you are not aware of hh. to the teacher, you can check the status of your life that day, see if you can find some clues. I would like to suggest you that day consultation in several of our emotional state may have an impact on your hh.
to the process: hh I understand! This reminds me of my early life, some of the scenes, this scene repeated for several years, my form of life.
I 7mm11 years old, I and my two younger brothers had been living with his mother, it is a remote mountain mm a around the place is not populated mm is a village primary school. mother is a rural female teachers, while the father is a middle school teacher, he lived with us only 40 li away from the place, very rarely home to see us. Every Sunday, the mother should go to a nearby town purchase of rice, flour and a few necessaries, I had to stay home and take care of two younger brothers, her mother did not come back until dark.
impressed me most was the mother often to the sun goes down, not home when the hazy night, so I eagerly went to the two brothers the edge of a slope, helplessly watching the mule path down the mountain valley, and my heart hope my mother come back early. If you do to a figure in the mobile, we will pull the big voice mm mother; then another year-old brother, I choked back tears hh; but to see them crying together, I will be pumping angrily slapped his younger brother, and then began to cry himself.
Bear Ling: If your mother back then?
to the process: heart hanging stone floor it! we will cheer up immediately without the sadness and fear, because we no longer afraid! precisely because of this experience , so now I can not accept special people around me who I mm can be regarded as brothers and sisters of people (especially men) mm too weak and helpless, would not help me because this fragile place, all completely out of grief. perhaps because some of our performance touched the hearts of some of your emotions?
the way: No, not exactly the case. I do not feel sad bear Ling teacher you what's wrong, because you love The father had just passed away soon, but also the first day of work after vacation, I think you will be sad to see our hh. You can express yourself like that in my mental image, you like my little brother age of three , your (his) crying is natural, I can understand. But when I try to enter your room, accidentally glance, found that they have a few eyes were red, a help , she is the mental energy is relatively large, relatively firm and stable), Like other colleagues did not come in hh told you one word of comfort, and even did not even enter the room you sit in hh. I know, I was deliberately avoiding a scene, represses her own helplessness, sadness, and the resulting out of the accused associated with emotional hh. Later, my wife and I happened on a call ;, ; substitute ?
the way: very complicated! may point to my own! because I was doing something that I could not do their own thing mm forced into helplessness and grief they do not, force yourself to be responsible for the sentiments of others! but this is mm caused my mother why she did not come back early? there my father mm regardless of why do not we help the mother? do not take care of us? and let me that period of my childhood life scenes are brought to my inner experience.
XIONG Ling: Can say this anger, accusing the emotions, the real point is that you experience the childhood that his mother and father mm mother and father in your heart the object image? because they make you feel helpless and depressed, which originally should not be borne by you. can you?
the way: can I accepted this analysis, but also Thank you for making me clearly understand how he is going children!
Xiong Ling: Let us return to the expression of true and false words to the above. We can say that you were in your wife in front of the expression of false it?
the way: Yes. to get dressed this matter itself, I mean it, I lied, the precise expression is a typical false. However, it is true from my own one: a I grew up in the course of the subjective circumstances of both the helplessness and fear mm have to be strong and patient; both parents are angry and blame and must control their own to avoid loss of parental care or face punishment; mm contradictory feelings .
Xiong Ling: I agree with your statement that.
to the process: in the absence of analysis or self-analysis before, people often are not aware of the existence of such a complex, or at most only know what they have a plot, but did not know how this plot comes from the fact of life, to experience the connection did not complete. ie: not able to form a contradiction at the emotional and psychological trauma of the past events of similar incidents mm mm the emotional experience on a spiritual level to link up quickly, so always unconsciously by the this connection, and this, perhaps out of false expression is the most important step.
XIONG Ling: So, can say that all false expressions are to be avoided it?
to the process: No! those based on the needs of society to adapt to reverse the expression of conscious or not true, though false, but people are necessary, but also the expression of good will. For example, a professional manager or a a sense of helplessness and frustration that a good quality of professional managers; accidentally walked into a friends home for lunch is the person, when the host asked him a! ; or to give up a marriage, but in order to protect their so-called topic, a text on the issue of discourse, one on the expression of true and false questions. Through our discussions, but also the formation of such a , people interested in reading the newspaper Why write this story? to the want to make what?
to the process: understand, accept, and to eliminate misunderstanding the meaning, so I'm not alone bear! a side benefit is that I do not have to use my examples to visitors for example, which to avoid the
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